Exit this survey 2013 Emotional Affair Journey Reader Survey Question Title * 1. Male or Female? Male Female Question Title * 2. What is your age? 18-24 25-34 35-49 50-62 63 and over Question Title * 3. Are you the unfaithful spouse or betrayed spouse? Unfaithful Betrayed Question Title * 4. How long have you been married or in a relationship? 0-5 years 6-10 years 11-15 years 16-20 years 21-25 years 25+ years Question Title * 5. What is your current relationship status? Not married Still married Separated Divorced (or filed for divorce) Question Title * 6. How long did you date your spouse prior to marriage? Less than a year One to 5 years More than 5 years Question Title * 7. Was the affair emotional, physical or both? Emotional affair Physical affair Both emotional and physical Not really sure Question Title * 8. How long ago was the affair first discovered (your D-day)? 0-3 months ago 4-6 months ago 7 months to 1 year ago 1 to 2 years ago longer than 2 years ago Question Title * 9. Is the affair over? Yes No Not sure Question Title * 10. In general, why do you think the affair happened? Needs not being met within your relationship The opportunity presented itself Lack of boundaries within the relationship Character flaw of the cheater Mid-life crisis Other (please specify) Question Title * 11. How MUCH did/do you and your spouse discuss the whole situation? Very little A good bit, but not as much as I want/wanted A lot Question Title * 12. How LONG did the talking continue? Less than 6 months Six months to 2 years More than 2 years Question Title * 13. Was the talking helpful? No, we just went over and over the same things Yes, but didn’t resolve as much as I would like Yes, it was essential to my getting beyond this Question Title * 14. If you are the betrayed, did you want to know details about the affair(s)? No, I didn’t want to know details Yes, but I wanted only general information (who, when, why) Yes, I wanted to know everything, including details Question Title * 15. Did your spouse answer your questions? No, refused to talk beyond basics Yes, but only told some of the information after much pressure Yes, told me everything I wanted to know Question Title * 16. How MUCH did you talk to friends/family/others (NOT including professionals)? Not at all Very limited A LOT Question Title * 17. Was it helpful to talk to friends/family/others? Didn’t talk or not useful Helped some, but not as much as I’d like Extremely helpful Question Title * 18. Have you seen or spoken to a counselor? Yes No Question Title * 19. If so...How many counselors have you seen? One Two Three or more Question Title * 20. If you have seen (talked to) a counselor, are you still in counseling? Yes No Question Title * 21. If you are (were) in counseling, is (was) it as a couple or alone? Alone As a couple Both alone and as a couple Question Title * 22. Based on your experience with just the first (or only) counselor...Was the counselor helpful? No, mostly frustrating Yes, but not as much as I’d like Yes, very helpful Question Title * 23. If you have not seen or talked to a counselor, why not? My spouse/partner refuses to go I (we) don't feel the need to or are not ready yet Lack of money to pay for it Other (please specify) Question Title * 24. Whether still married or divorced...Do you still dwell on the affair(s)? Yes, it’s still a pain I carry every day While I still think about it from time to time, it’s not a constant focus No, I’ve pretty much put it in perspective in my life and moved on Question Title * 25. Do you feel a sense of forgiveness/resolution? No, I still have lots of anger and resentment toward my spouse (or ex-spouse) I think I’ve “forgiven,” but I don’t feel it will ever be completely resolved Yes, my spouse’s behavior since ending the affair has allowed me to let it go Question Title * 26. Have you healed? No, I’m still in great pain I’ve healed somewhat but feel I will always carry a scar I’ve mostly healed and actually grown in many ways Question Title * 27. If you stayed married...Has trust been rebuilt? No, still very guarded Yes, but still somewhat cautious Yes, secure in trustworthiness at this point Question Title * 28. If you stayed married...Has the relationship “improved” compared to pre-affair days? No, the relationship is more distant and strained Not actual improvement, but about the same as before Yes, it’s better than before the affair(s) Question Title * 29. If you got a divorce...Have you been able to trust enough to develop another intimate relationship? No, I’m very anxious about ever being vulnerable to being hurt again I’ve developed another relationship, but “hold back” somewhat I’ve developed a new “trusting” intimate relationship Question Title * 30. If you got a divorce...What is the quality of any new relationship? No new relationship Not as good as the early days of my previous marriage Better than any period of my previous marriage Question Title * 31. Regardless of your marital situation, what are you currently struggling with most? (You may choose more than one) Rebuilding trust Forgiveness Dealing with painful thoughts, triggers and memories of the affair Better communication regarding the affair Negotiating and redesigning your relationship My unfaithful spouse is not helping me heal Ending the affair Reconnecting on an emotional and intimate level Guidance about divorce and/or separation Other (please specify) Question Title * 32. What has been the most helpful in your healing and recovery process? (You may choose more than one) Books Support from friends and family Blogs Forums Programs or courses Counseling Exercise Spiritual/meditation Working together with my spouse/partner Other (please specify) Question Title * 33. What is the biggest fear for you right now when it comes to your relationship? Question Title * 34. What are your biggest frustrations when it comes to dealing with the affair? Question Title * 35. Which type of media do you like to utilize most when researching or learning about infidelity and/or relationships? Video Audio/Podcasts Reading Doesn't matter Question Title * 36. How often do you visit our site? First time here At least once a day Multiple times a day A few times a week Weekly Rarely Question Title * 37. Do you have any suggestions for future topics that you would like to see addressed on our site? Question Title * 38. Any other suggestions for us regarding anything else - site design, format, etc.? Done