What’s your relationship style?

Relationship Style Self-Assessment

Choose the answer that best reflects how you act and feel when it comes to relating with other people.

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1. Your significant other wants to get a puppy. You:

a. Ask what kind and start looking

b. Schedule a trip to the pound together

c. Research whether a different pet might work out better

d. Go out and get one

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2. Your child complains that she doesn’t like eggs for breakfast. You:

a. Ask what she would prefer and make that

b. Get more healthy choices next time you go to the store

c. Remind her of the benefits of eating protein early in the day

d. Give her whatever she wants

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3. In an argument, your first priority is to:

a. Stop arguing

b. Make sure to resolve the issue so you won’t have the same argument again

c. Find facts to back up your assertions

d. Defuse the tension with a well-timed joke

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4. The best times in your relationships are when:

a. Everyone gets along well

b. We’re doing something fun I planned

c. Things go as planned

d. We’re doing something spontaneous

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5. When you hire someone to help you, you tend to:

a. Thank him or her profusely

b. Make a list of other projects he or she can help you with in the future

c. Watch while the work is getting done

d. Motivate him or her with food or some other incentive

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6. At work, you try to be the one:

a. Everyone comes to with their issues for help

b. Forging a path for your team

c. Discovering new trends based on what works best

d. Making your coworkers laugh and enjoy each day

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7. When it comes to giving constructive feedback, you:

a. Are careful not to hurt anyone’s feelings

b. Prepare a list before the meeting

c. Use data to support your suggestions

d. Say what you think but soften it with a little humor

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8. When it comes to getting constructive feedback:

a. You can be thin-skinned sometimes

b. You make a list of which comments are useful and which aren’t

c. You learn best from concrete examples

d. You can take it or leave it

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9. A family member gets you an expensive gift you really don’t want. You:

a. Smile and say, “Thank you”

b. Make a plan to re-gift it

c. Exchange it for something you want

d. Give it a try; you might just like it after all

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10. Your friend gets lost while driving you somewhere you’ve never been. Your first priority is to:

a. Tell her not to worry

b. Check the map or directions and help find the way

c. Figure out where she took a wrong turn and let her know how to fix it

d. See what’s here

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11. You arrive at a holiday get-together. You’re most likely to say something like:

a. You look great! Can I help with anything?

b. Can I lead the games?

c. The best way to run a gift exchange is actually…

d. Let’s get this party started!

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12. Your significant other has to work late a lot of the time. You:

a. Say it’s okay and adjust your schedule to eat late together

b. Set up a system so you’ll know about what time he or she should be home each day

c. Track the extra work hours for him or her to show the boss

d. Surprise him or her at the office

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13. You like social media best because you can:

a. Help others

b. Invite people to events

c. Gather information

d. Share laughs

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14. When you feel safe with someone, you tend to:

a. Agree a lot

b. Talk about things you’d like to do

c. Listen for facts

d. Talk about whatever

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15. You tend to get along best with:

a. Just about everyone

b. People who follow your lead

c. People who make sense

d. People who are up for a little adventure

Count up your As, Bs, Cs and Ds. Which letter did you choose the most? The second-most?

Once you’ve counted them up, click the "Check your score" button below to see what your primary style might be. Chances are you have some of each of these four styles in your personality. You might simply favor one above all the rest. That means it comes more naturally. If your second-highest answer was close behind your top-scorer, you might favor more than one style.