Registration for the LGBTQ+ DV Survivors Support Group

What & Who This Group Is For

Walnut Avenue Family & Women's Center is a family center providing support and services to survivors of domestic violence, families, and youth of all genders and ages. Our mission is to end cycles of violence, promote lifelong learning, and improve relationships with oneself and others.

This support group is intended for LGBTQ+ survivors of domestic violence of all genders, sexual orientations, and family and relationship models (including but not limited to polyamorous, kinky, and queerplatonic relationships). Attendees must be aged 18 or older. This support group is based out of Santa Cruz, but it's not required that you live in Santa Cruz County in order to attend. This group is for LGBTQ+ Survivors of domestic violence everywhere, regardless of where you live.

The facilitator will start with a round of check-ins in which attendees are invited but not required to share their name, pronouns, and what if anything they're hoping to get out of the group that night. The check-ins provide a starting point for longer conversation, and if no topic stands out, then the facilitator will offer a prompt regarding healthy, unhealthy, or abusive relationships.

Examples of Discussion Topics

• Domestic violence - what it is and isn't, red flags, etc
• Boundaries - what they are, what they aren't, how to identify and communicate them to others
• Anger self-management - how to cope with conflict in safer, healthier ways (including self-regulation)
• Coping strategies for domestic violence-related trauma

Additional topics may be brought in based on feedback and common trends in conversation.

General Layout

This group is every Tuesday evening, barring federal holidays, from 6-7pm PT. It follows this general format:

1. Welcome and brief reminder of group agreements
2. Introductions (name and pronouns)
3. Discussion
4. Wrap-up and final thoughts

What to Expect & Content Warnings

Attendees should expect to hear discussion about domestic violence, which may include physical and sexual abuse as well as verbal, financial, spiritual, political, technological, and other forms of abuse.

This support group is coming from a perspective of peer counseling, which means it's non-clinical, non-therapeutic, strength-based, and driven by the group.

Attendees are welcome to have non-distracting "busy hands" activities (such as knitting or doodling) while participating in the group to help with focus and anxiety. Attendees may step away or leave at any time.

Facilitation

This group is usually facilitated by a certified advocate for survivors of domestic violence who is LGBTQ+. On days where the primary advocate is unavailable and as staff schedules allow, Walnut Avenue will do its best to provide a substitute advocate who is also openly LGBTQ+.

Staff contact/primary group facilitator: Emory Maskalenko (they/them) - emaskalenko@wafwc.org
24-hour domestic violence helpline: 1 (866) 269-2559
Main office (for walk-in hours, making appointments, and other services): (831) 426-3062

Virtual Access to the Group

To gain access to this virtual support group, you will need to provide some basic contact information (including a safe email address), read the guidelines below, and agree to them. The facilitator will add your contact information to a confidential mailing list so that you receive virtual access information and group updates. If you change your mind at any point and would like to stop receiving emails, you may contact the facilitator and have your information re

Group Guidelines

Confidentiality. Any personal information disclosed during the support group may not be shared outside of the group without explicit permission. That said, confidentiality cannot be fully guaranteed, so bear that in mind when making a decision on what to share.

Private space. As an extension of confidentiality, we ask that attendees participate in the group in a private space where other people around them can't overhear what's happening or to wear headphones.

Self-care. Attendees may step away temporarily or leave the group at any time to take care of physical or emotional needs. This will not disrupt the group and the facilitator will not take it personally.

Group service, not individual service, a.k.a. "take space, make space." The facilitator may gently redirect the conversation if the topic becomes so focused on one person that other attendees become only observers. Attendees are invited to reach out to Walnut Avenue if they would like no-cost, one-on-one peer support from an advocate.

Voluntary participation. Attending a group does not obligate anyone to share their personal story or even speak up at all beyond initial introductions.

Not couple's counseling. An attendee may only bring a partner if that partner is a) also a survivor and b) interested in participating for their own benefit. A support group cannot provide couple's counseling, nor is it a safe venue for providing domestic violence education to people who have caused harm. If you would like a loved one to receive domestic violence education, whether as an ally or as someone who's caused harm, please visit our Space for Change program instead.

Speak in specifics from personal experience. As a queer space, we understand that gender is complicated and that common myths such as "women are victims, men are abusive" are both untrue and harmful. Please avoid making generalizations about a particular demographic, including (but not limited to) gender or sexual orientation, and speak in specifics from your personal experience about individuals instead.

Misconduct

Conduct which will result in being asked to leave a group or barred from returning includes but is not limited to:

• Breaking confidentiality of the group by sharing someone's identity or personal information to someone outside of the group without that person's consent;
• Disclosure of currently causing harm to a partner or relative;
• Using discriminatory language and refusing to be corrected or redirected to more appropriate language;
• Refusing to use someone's proper name, pronouns, or referential terminology after being corrected;
• Threatening to harm another attendee or the facilitator

Depending on the nature and severity of the conduct, the facilitator may either offer alternative, more appropriate language during the conversation; remove an attendee from the meeting and request a private follow-up conversation; and/or bar an attendee from returning to future groups.

Thank you!