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They're My Ride or Die: A Survey Exploring the Diverse Spectrum of Committed Relationships

Introduction:

Welcome! Thank you for your interest in our survey! What follows is some information about this project that will give you the context you need to decide if you’d like to participate. Participation in this study is entirely voluntary and you can refuse to participate in, or opt out of the survey, at any time without penalty.


What is this survey about & why is it being done?

This survey is being conducted to gain insights into non-romantic, non-sexual, committed relationships of all kinds and how these relationships influence loneliness, social support, and belonging. The information gathered will be used as background for a book about the full spectrum of these kinds of relationships. Answers shared in this survey will be compiled into statistical data and used only in aggregate. No individual data will be published, with one possible exception: you will have the opportunity at the end of this survey to answer open-ended questions that give you the opportunity to share your thoughts more directly. These are entirely optional, however if you choose to share your thoughts here, some of your words might be included in the final manuscript.

What Will I Do and How Long Will It Take?

This is an online survey with 53 questions and should only take about 20 minutes to complete. You can opt out at any time. If you do? Your survey will be discarded and the answers you previously completed will not be used.

What are the Possible Benefits of participating in this survey?

Direct Benefits for you as a participant: There are no direct benefits to you for participating.

Indirect Benefits: The information you contribute about your experiences will also increase our overall understanding of deeply committed, non-romantic and/or non-sexual relationships: how they form, what they look like, and how the partners can be supported by their families, their communities, and their mental and medical health providers.

What are the risks and discomforts of participating in this survey?

The risks to participating in this survey are similar to risks encountered in everyday life. These include:

1) Some questions may be personal or distressing. You do not need to answer any questions that do not want to answer.

2) Limitations to privacy:

o Everyone working on this project is committed to maintaining the privacy of our participants as fully as possible and will not share your information with anyone outside of the research team.

o The research team are mandatory reporters. This means that disclosures of ongoing child abuse, elder abuse, intentional transmission of communicable diseases, or threats of harm to self or others must be reported to the appropriate resources.

3) Possible loss of confidentiality: there is a chance your data could be seen by someone who shouldn’t have access to it. We’re minimizing this risk in the following ways:

o We are using a GDRP compliant survey platform.

o No personally identifying information (name, phone number, email, birthday, etc.) will be collected.

o Information that could be theoretically identifiable (age, sex, gender, etc.) will be aggregated into generalized statistical data.

o All survey data will be stored on a password-protected, encrypted cloud-based server.

o No IP addresses will be collected to further promote anonymity.

o Participants who chose to answer the optional, open-answer questions may reach out at any time and request to have their answers deleted from our survey.
o All individual survey responses (with the exception of your anonymized optional answers) will be deleted six months after our data analysis and aggregation is completed.

Will there be any cost to me?
There are no fees or costs to participating in the survey.

Will I be compensated for participating in the survey?
You will not be compensated for participating in this survey.

Will my information be confidential?
Yes- as outlined above. All information collected about you during this study will be kept without any identifiers.

Will my data be used for future research?
No- no data from this survey will be shared with other researchers.

Who do I contact if I have questions?
If you have any questions about this study now or in the future, you may email us at research@boundtogetherfoundation.org

Participation:

By completing the online survey, you are agreeing to participate. You may opt out of the survey at any time and your answers will be discarded. s

Please save or print a copy of this page for your records.
1.Have you read the information outlined above and do you agree to participate in this survey?(Required.)
Many people these days have built relationships that don't fit neatly into society's norms. Thes may involve emotional intimacy, long-term commitment, caregiving, chosen family, shared lives, or forms of deep, intentional, partnership that don't fit into conventional boxes like friendship, romance, or marriage.

We know that people have serious relationships that resist traditional labels and we know that these relationships matter. This survey seeks to better understand how people experience and define these kinds of connections.
2.Does this description feel like it applies to one or more relationships in your life?(Required.)
Please tell us a little bit about yourself, so we know who you are and where you're coming from. We will not ask you for any personally identifying information, just general demographic attributes.
3.How old are you?(Required.)
4.What is your gender identity?(Required.)
5.What is your sexual orientation?(Required.)
6.Which race/ethnicity best describes you? (Please choose only one.) (Required.)
7.Which of the following best describes your current relationship status?(Required.)
8.Do you have any type of health condition, mental health condition, or disability that has lasted or is expected to last for 6 months or more?(Required.)
9.Do you have difficulty with any of the following? (check all that apply)(Required.)
10.Do you identify as neurodivergent?(Required.)
11.Which of the following neurodivergent traits or conditions do you identify with? (Select all that apply)(Required.)
12.Do you identify with any of the following religions? (Please select all that apply.)(Required.)
13.What geographic region do you live in?(Required.)
14.I identify as... (check all that apply)(Required.)
Now, think about the person in your life who is Your Person- your ride or die, your go-to, the one you consider to be your central/primary relationship (regardless of relationship type). Please answer the questions that follow with that person, and that specific relationship, in mind.
15.When you think about Your Person, what term best describes this relationship?(Required.)
16.How long have you known this person?(Required.)
17.How long has this relationship existed in its current form (the form you selected in Q14)?(Required.)
18.Do/are you and your person... (check all that apply)(Required.)
19.Tell us what's on the relationship "menu" for you and Your Person(Required.)
Present in our relationship now
Desired, but not currently present in our relationship
Not desired in our relationship now.
Hand-holding
Cuddling, Spooning
Sex
Emotional Support
Daily Texting/Communication
Vacations Together
Shared Holidays
Relationship with Families of Origin
Shared Religious Observance
Caregiving (Medical, Personal)
Cohabitation
Mutual Financial Support
Co-Parenting Children (non-biological to one or more partners)
Pregnancy/Shared Biological Children
Formal/Ritualized Commitment Ceremony
Legal Decision-Making Authority
Medical Decision-Making Authority
End of Life Decision-Making Authority
Shared Will/Trust/Estate Planning
Keeping Your Person in mind, please tell us how much you agree or disagree with the following statements about your relationship with them.
20."This person is among the most important people in my life."(Required.)
Not at all true
Somewhat true
Neutral
Mostly True
Completely True
21."This relationship feels like family."(Required.)
Not at all true
Somewhat true
Neutral
Mostly True
Completely True
22."I struggle to explain this relationship to others."(Required.)
Not at all true
Somewhat true
Neutral
Mostly True
Completely True
23."Our relationship does not fit existing categories."(Required.)
Not at all true
Somewhat true
Neutral
Mostly True
Completely True
24."I wish society recognized relationships like ours."(Required.)
Not at all true
Somewhat true
Neutral
Mostly True
Completely True
25."I sometimes feel pressure to redefine this relationship."(Required.)
Not at all true
Somewhat true
Neutral
Mostly True
Completely True
26."This relationship meets all my needs."(Required.)
Not at all true
Somewhat true
Neutral
Mostly True
Completely True
27."I have felt looked down upon or less than because of our relationship."(Required.)
Not at all true
Somewhat true
Neutral
Mostly True
Completely True
28."I wish our relationship had the same legal status/protections as other committed relationships."(Required.)
Not at all true
Somewhat true
Neutral
Mostly True
Completely True
29."I feel grief that this relationship lacks social/legal recognition."(Required.)
Not at all true
Somewhat true
Neutral
Mostly True
Completely True
30."My family treats My Person like family."(Required.)
Not at all true
Somewhat true
Neutral
Mostly True
Completely True
31."I feel secure in this relationship."(Required.)
Not at all true
Somewhat true
Neutral
Mostly True
Completely True
32."I hope to spend the rest of my life in this relationship."(Required.)
Not at all true
Somewhat true
Neutral
Mostly True
Completely True
Thinking about Your Person and this specific relationship, please tell us if you have experienced any of the following behaviors and if so, how these experiences made you feel.
33.Have other people in your life...(Required.)
This has not happened.
Not Upset At All
Mildly Upset
Neutral
Somewhat Upset
Very Upset
Dismissed your relationship
Called it "just a friendship"
Assumed your relationship was romantic
Excluded Your Person from family events
Questioned the legitimacy of your relationship
Failed to recognize your/their caregiving role
Failed to recognize your/their co-parenting role
Denied you or them access or rights during a crisis?
Challenged your decision-making authority for one another?
Thinking about your relationship with Your Person, please tell us how much you agree with the following statements:
34.This relationship helps me feel accepted.(Required.)
35.This relationship helps me feel understood.(Required.)
36.This relationship helps me feel safe.(Required.)
37.This relationship helps me feel authentic.(Required.)
38.This relationship helps me feel supported.(Required.)
39.This relationship helps me feel like part of a community.(Required.)
40.This relationship helps me feel resilient.(Required.)
41.This relationship helps me feel like I have a purpose.(Required.)
42.This relationship helps me feel hopeful about the future.(Required.)
Now we have a couple of questions that are just about YOU. You don't need to consider Your Person or your relationship while answering these... just indicate what is most true and accurate for yourself.
43.Please tell us how often each of the statements below is descriptive of you.(Required.)
Often
Sometimes
Rarely
Never
I am unhappy doing many things alone.
I have nobody to talk to.
I cannot tolerate being so alone.
I lack companionship.
I feel as if nobody really understands me.
I find myself waiting for people to call or write.
There is no one I can turn to.
I am no longer close to anyone.
My interests and ideas are not shared by those around me.
I feel left out.
I feel completely alone.
I am unable to reach out and communicate with those around me.
My social relationships are superficial.
I feel starved for company.
No one really knows me well.
I feel isolated from others.
I am unhappy being so withdrawn.
It is difficult for me to make friends.
I feel shut out and excluded by others.
People are around me, but not with me.
44.What follows is a list of statements, each of which may or may not be true about you. Please read each one and rank them on a scale of Definitely False to Definitely True.(Required.)
Definitely False
Probably False
Probably True
Definitely True
If I wanted to go on a trip for a day (for example, to the country or the mountains) I would have a hard time finding someone to go with me.
I feel that there is no one I can share my most private worries and fears with.
If I were sick, I could easily find someone to help me with my daily chores.
There is someone I can turn to for advice about handling problems with my family.
If I decide one afternoon that I would like to go to a movie that evening, I could easily find someone to go with me.
When I need suggestions on how to deal with a personal problem, I know someone I can turn to.
I don't often get invited to do things with others.
If I had to go out of town for a few weeks, it would be difficult to find someone who would look after my house or apartment (the plants, pets, garden, etc.)
If I wanted to go to lunch with someone, I could easily find someone to join me.
If I was stranded 10 miles from home, there is someone I could call who could come and get me.
If a family crisis arose, it would be difficult to find someone who could give me good advice about how to handle it.
If I needed some help in moving to a new house or apartment, I would have a hard time finding someone to help me.
45.Below are five statements that you may agree or disagree with. Indicate your agreement with each item by tapping the appropriate box. Please be open and honest in your responding.(Required.)
Strongly Disagree
Disagree
Slightly Disagree
Neither Agree Nor Disagree
Slightly Agree
Agree
Strongly Agree
In most ways my life is close to my ideal.
The conditions of my life are excellent.
I am satisfied with my life.
So far I have gotten the important things I want in life.
If I could live my life over, I would change almost nothing.
What follows are some short, open-ended questions about Your Person and your relationship with them. Please feel free to be as short or wordy as you'd like, or to skip these questions completely. If you'd prefer not to answer them, just scroll past them to click the Done button at the bottom of your screen.

Thank you so much for your time! We deeply appreciate you. :-)
46.What role does Your Person play in your life?
47.If you had to explain this relationship without labels, what would you say?
48.What makes this relationship work for you?
49.What do you wish people understood about your relationship?
50.Tell us about a time when someone misunderstood the nature of your relationship.
51.Have you ever experienced bias or discrimination because of your relationship?
52.What fears do you have about your relationship?
53.How does this relationship influence/inform who you are as a person?
54.What would recognition for your relationship look like?