THE END OF THE GARDEN - Beta readers
Middle Grade 8-12+
Pitch: a Jacqueline Wilson style character with a Neil Gaiman style plot.
Comparison titles: Eventown by Corey Ann Haydu, The Spellbound Hotel by Tom Eglington, Amari and The Night Brothers by B. B. Alston and the Bartimaeus Trilogy by Johnathan Stroud.
PITCH: When ten-year-old Isabelle explores the abandoned forest behind her garden, she discovers a portal to another world…Candyland! Top tourist destination spot in the Magical Countries, and one of the oldest pocket universes in Britain! But what at first seems like a perfect home soon begins to crumble, and as Isabelle journeys through jewel-eyed prisoners, ice golems, and machines that stop time, she entangles herself further within a dark secret that might just place her life in peril.
Feedback I'm looking for: anything! Be as harsh as you like, crush my soul. There is no improvement without honesty. However, in particular I want to find ways to reduce the word count since it's currently at 75k and I've been told that's too long. I'd also like feedback on what might be putting people off on the first three chapters.