Jealousy: The Green-eyed Monster

Welcome to Bonobology,
 
This portal is a place to read, share and meet people who want to understand all that flows from, of and in our relationships.
 
Even the easiest and cosiest of relationships throw up nasty surprises in a social environment. Sometimes all it takes is a drink or two, the stray mention of an old flame, or a lingering look accompanied by a smile.

Here is a survey that will need you to put on your thinking hat and take a cold, hard look at what really happened at that dinner last night. Because hindsight can sometimes tell you a lot about where you and your partner are headed. The aim of this survey is to make you reflect on your own jealousy quotient and what you think of your partner’s. It will also make you ruminate over the delicate balance between emotions and rational thought, between the tendency towards autonomy as against that of fusion. It may bring to forefront our own hidden double standards- where we want space and freedom but are unwilling to give it.

 
‘Survey Monkey’ does not ask for your name or email ID. It maintains strict confidentiality and anonymity. There is no way that any part of your answers/replies can be connected to you. Only your answers will be recorded.

                                                                                                                                             : By Raksha Bharadia
 
 
 
Raksha Bharadia is a writer and editor. She has authored three books published by Rupa & Co:

Me: A Handbook for Life (2006)
Roots and Wings: A handbook for Parents (2008)
All and Nothing (2010)

She has put together 13 titles in the Chicken soup for the Indian Soul series for Westland. She has also worked as a scriptwriter with Star Plus for the show Lakhon Main Ek. She has been a columnist for Femina, Ahmedabad Mirror; and with DNA Ahmedabad. Raksha has taught creative writing, Master’s Program - Architecture Journalism at CEPT, Ahmedabad. She is in the board of Sambhav group Ahmedabad. Raksha has taught at the school for the visually challenged, in Andh Kanya Gruh and taught English in a street school run by NGO Manav Sadhna in Ram-Rahim ka Tekra.

Bonobology.com is Raksha’s first significant foray in the digital space.
 

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1. What is your gender?

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2. What is your marital status?

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3.

If married, how long have you been married for? (Number of years)

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4. Do you believe jealousy and surveillance are signs of deep attachment?

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5. How do you communicate the fact that you are feeling jealous?

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6. When jealous, more often than not, whom do you pin the perpetration on?

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7. How do you feel if your partner works late into the night with a colleague who he/she could potentially be sexually attracted to?

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8. How would you feel if your partner were to start putting in a lot more effort in his/her appearance before going to work or meeting his/her friends?

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9. Do you feel threatened if your partner meets an old flame in your absence?

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10. If your partner confesses that he/she has a crush on a common friend, how would you act around them?

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11. Your spouse is the most attractive person in the room. How does that make you feel?

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12. When your partner receives one too many compliments from the opposite sex, you

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13. At a social gathering, your spouse is engaged in a lengthy conversation with a person of the opposite sex, how do you feel?

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14. Does it bother you when your spouse compliments a friend’s/ colleague’s personality often?

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15. Do you keep tabs on your partner’s social media handles?

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16. Should your partner know your social media and phone passwords?

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17. You picked a new outfit for tonight’s party to which the attractive ‘someone’ is attending. Your partner is visibly annoyed. You

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18. Something has come up at work and you need to pull an all-nighter with a colleague of the opposite gender. Your spouse is uncomfortable. What do you do?

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19. If my ex wanted to meet up for dinner/coffee, I would..

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20. Over a bottle of wine, you confess to checking out that hottie at dinner last week. Your spouse doesn’t seem worried. You think


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21. How do you feel about your partner's casual flirting?

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22. Your partner watches pornographic pictures or movies. How do you feel?

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23. How would you feel about your partner dancing with someone of the opposite sex?

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