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* 1. The "You're Letting the Intern Write Copy, Aren't You?" Award

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* 2. The Count von Count Award

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* 3. The Doublespeak Award (AKA the "It's a Feature" Award)

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* 4. The "Just Zip It" Award

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* 5. The Daytime Drama Dialogue Award

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* 6. The "Say Whhaaat?" Award

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* 7. Worst Graphic or Chart Award

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