Cultural Differences

Welcome to Bonobology,

This portal is a place to read, share and meet people who want to understand all that flows from, of and in our relationships.

Love is blind and marriage opens your eyes! Clichéd but true.
While all married people face domestic discord at some point or the other, perhaps the things our generation fights about are a little different from those our parents disagreed upon. Earlier, couples were too preoccupied with making ends meet and keeping up appearances that cultural differences were rarely ever heard of. 
But our times are different from those of our parents. We have more choices, both in our professional and personal lives. This gives rise to issues that render the parental advice, richened by experience, we usually seek useless.

Are cultural differences then getting the better of your relationship? Is it taking a lot of effort to adjust to your partner’s value system? How to handle it? Maybe this survey can help you find some answers.

‘Survey Monkey’ does not ask for your name or email ID. It maintains strict confidentiality and anonymity. There is no way that any part of your answers/replies can be connected to you. Only your answers will be recorded.

: By Raksha Bharadia


Raksha Bharadia is a writer and editor. She has authored three books and has put together 13 titles of The Chicken Soup for the Indian Soul series for Westland. 

Bonobology.com is Raksha’s first significant foray in the digital space.

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* 1. What is your gender?

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* 2. What is your marital status?

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* 3. If married, how long have you been married for? (Number of years)

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* 4. Can two people from different cultural /ethnic /religious/economic backgrounds build a successful relationship?

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* 5. What do you think are the biggest challenges in such relationships?

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* 6. When two people from different backgrounds fall in love, how important is it for them to keep their future in mind - marriage, children, individual identities, joint finances?

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* 7. Do inter-caste/community relationships have a greater chance of survival in big cities, away from parents, family, friends and acquaintances?

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* 8. Given the mixed-up times we live in, do you think it is best if people avoided getting into such relationships?

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* 9. People in inter-caste/community marriages find it difficult to

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* 10. What are the primary reasons for inter-caste/community relationships failing?

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* 11. According to you, which of these differences would be the toughest to deal with

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* 12. On whom, do you think, lies the onus of making an inter-caste/community marriage work?

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* 13. Can friends provide the crucial support system needed for such relationships to survive?

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* 14. Is it our upbringing that makes us too rigid to follow the traditions/value systems of our partners?

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* 15. Your partner is really religious and wants you too to participate in religious activities. But you are an agnostic. What do you do?

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* 16. How do you feel about your partner being a non-vegetarian even though you are a vegetarian?

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* 17. When you first got married, you and your partner lived however you wanted to. Now you feel your partner’s family has started interfering in your relationship. Do you-

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* 18. You and your partner are both working and have similar incomes. Your partner’s family is not as well off as yours so your partner sends some money home to provide them financial support. You feel

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* 19. Your families are still not happy with your alliance but your first child is due in 4 months...

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* 20. When you first got married, the two of you took all the decisions together but with the passage of time, and on
your ‘in-laws insistence/interference, your partner

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* 21. Your partner was financially independent when you first met but has now given up work and is completely dependent on you for their finances. You

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* 22. Your partner’s family believes in hierarchy and you are expected to fall into line when an older member of the family (sister-in- law/brother-in- law) disapproves of your way of handling situations. You

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* 23. You have studied in the best schools and colleges and want the same for your child. Your partner, however, believes that education is important but it can just as well be imparted by the local institutions. You 

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* 24. Your partner and you understand each other and respect each other’s cultural differences. But what happens when either of your families visit?

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* 25. How did your friends react to your parents’ disapproval of your relationship with someone from a different background? Who supported you more during those trying times – your friends or your siblings/cousins?

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* 26. Do you think you and your partner spend way too much time and effort on adjusting to each other’s cultural differences? How frequently do these differences crop up in your conversations?

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* 27. What is the most annoying thing about your partner’s background? (Something that you don’t want to adjust and wish you could change)

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