What has new motherhood been like for you?

This winter we -- Stephanie Sprenger (www.stephaniesprenger.com) and Jessica Smock (www.schoolofsmock.com) -- started a collaborative blogging project called HerStories: Tales of Friendship because we were fascinated by women's experiences of friendship. Reading women's stories, we quickly became inspired by the power of women's relationships and by how these relationships evolve during different points of women's lives.

Jessica is a mom to a toddler son, former teacher, researcher, writer, and current doctoral candidate in education whose research interests relate to parenting and gender. Stephanie is a mom to two young daughters, freelance writer, music therapist, and early childhood educator who has been writing about parenting and motherhood for her blog and other outlets for years.

As mothers with young children, we realized that we both wanted to know more about why our friendships and relationships had changed since we became new mothers. And we wanted to know if other women had similar experiences. Motherhood is such a powerful force in many women's lives, and we want to hear other women's stories of how new motherhood has affected their friendships, emotional lives, and marriages.

If you are a woman who became a mother for the first time within the last five years, we invite you to complete our survey. We thank you so much for sharing your experiences. We know that it takes time from your busy lives, and we appreciate it greatly. In the coming months, we hope to create a book project from these stories and perspectives. All surveys will be kept anonymous, and we will not share your name or contact information, unless we are given explicit permission to do so.

Please contact either of us at herstoriesfriendshiptales@gmail.com or go to our HerStories website (www.herstoriesproject.com) if you have any questions. Thanks again!

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* 1. In your own words, how would you define "a close friend"?

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* 2. If you think about your life before your first child was born, has the number of "close friends" that you have increased, decreased, or stayed the same since you became a parent?

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* 3. I felt satisfied with the quality of my friendships before my first child was born.

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* 4. In general, I now feel satisfied with the number and quality of my friendships.

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* 5. Before your first child was born, to whom did you turn for regular emotional support during hard times?

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* 6. During the first few months of parenthood, to whom did you turn for regular emotional support?

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* 7. At the present time, to whom do you turn for regular emotional support?

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* 8. How frequently do you engage in the following ONLINE activities?

  Several times a day 2-3 times a day About once a day A few times a week Once a week Less than once a week Never
Checking e-mail
Facebook
Twitter
Pinterest
Another social media site (list below)
Reading news sites
Updating/editing my own blog
Reading other blogs
Searching for parenting advice
Research for work/school
Watching online TV/movies

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* 9. If you have regularly read websites/blogs for advice or support related to parenting (or for other areas of emotional or practical support), please list (in any order) the ones that you read/have read most regularly and have been most helpful to you.

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* 10. Has your online experience affected your experience as a new mother?

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* 11. Please tell us anything else that is important to you about your online experience since becoming a parent.

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* 12. Based on your experience, do you agree or disagree with the following statements about family life and relationships?

  Agree Disagree Not Sure
My best friends are other parents.
I often feel socially isolated.
My friends are supportive of my family.
Having children is important to a successful, happy marriage.
Sharing household chores is important to a successful marriage.
I have lost a friend because of my own or her parenting choices.
I sometimes feel forced to choose between spending time with my family and my friends.

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* 13. Since you became a mother, where have you met new friends?

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* 14. If you need support or guidance in the following areas, to whom are you most likely to turn?

  Spouse Other Family Member (Parent, Sibling) Close Friend Professional Adviser (doctor, therapist, consultant) Religious adviser Online Other
Advice about your child's development
Child discipline or behavior
Financial concerns
Concerns about your health
Concerns about child's health
Sadness or feeling blue
Shopping purchases for your child
Advice about movies, books, or other entertainment

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* 15. If you could, how would you improve your current friendships?

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* 16. If you are married or in a committed relationship, which of the following describes your relationship since you became parents? (Check all that apply.)

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* 17. We'd like to know more about your opinions about families and parenting.

  strongly disagree disagree neutral/not sure agree strongly agree
Both mothers and fathers are equally well capable of caring for children.
Being a parent is the greatest joy that a person can experience.
It is important for children to be involved in activities, lessons, and classes that stimulate and engage them.
Parents need a mental break from their children, even when they're physically apart.
The child's needs and schedule should take priority over a parent's.
Although fathers are important, children need their mothers more.
Being a parent is the hardest job in the world.
Children should be the center of attention in the family.

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* 18. Please tell us a little bit about some of the feelings you may have experienced since becoming a mother. How often do you experience the following?

  Often Sometimes Rarely Never
I compare myself to other mothers and don't feel that I measure up.
I feel isolated as a mom.
I wish that I had someone to talk to.
I feel complete now that I'm a mother.
I am overwhelmed by the number of decisions that I have to make.
I feel that other mothers are competitive with me.
I feel that other mothers are doing a better job than I am.
I am generally satisfied with my life during most of the day.

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* 19. Please tell us more about your experience of receiving support during new motherhood, especially anything we didn't ask.

Thank you for telling us about your experience of new motherhood. We'd also appreciate it if you answered a few background questions about yourself.

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* 20. What is your age?

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* 21. Where do you live?

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* 22. What is the highest level of education you have completed?

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* 23. Which BEST describes your current employment status?

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* 24. Once your first child was born, which of the following have you done? (Check all that apply)

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* 25. If you have worked outside the home since you had children, do you agree with the following statements?

  agree disagree not sure
I worked out of financial necessity.
I didn't want to rely only on my partner for money.
I loved my job too much to quit.
I needed to feel accomplished outside of the home.
I worked hard to get to my current position.
I felt that I would not advance in my current field if I left.
I needed a break from being at home.

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* 26. What is your marital status?

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* 27. What is your sexual orientation?

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* 28. How many children do you have?

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* 29. What are/is the age(s) of your children? (Check all that apply.)

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* 30. Do you plan on having more children in the future?

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* 31. May we contact you if we have additional questions? If you would not mind if we contacted you with any questions or clarifications, please list your e-mail address:

Once again, thank you! Please stay tuned to our blogs and Facebook page for updates about our project!

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