Fibromyalgia Intimacy survey: Can Pain and Intimacy Co-Exist

Fibromyalgia Intimacy Survey - Can Pain and Intimacy Co-Exist?

Intimacy is a normal part of life; however, for those with chronic pain, it may be a sore spot. According to pain experts, patients report that one of the most frustrating aspects of intimacy is the lack of dialogue about sex and intimacy issues. Does the subject of sex become more taboo when chronic pain and illness are involved?

Shouldn't we try to understand how pain affects our intimate relationships? What can be done to improve this part of our lives? Help us explore the subject of pain and intimacy by taking The NEW! Fibromyalgia AWARE Intimacy Survey.

This survey is intended to be a fun way to look at some serious issues facing those with fibromyalgia. The results will be used to help the community discuss these touchy topics. Your individual answers will be private, yet collectively we will be able to discuss these problems with the FM community and learn how chronic pain and illness affect our thoughts and feelings about sex. Thank you for your honesty!

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* 1. Relationship Status

Married

Other committed relationship

Single

Other (please specify)

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* 2. Gender

Male

Female

Transgender

Other (please specify)

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* 3. Age

Young: up to 25

Youthful: 26-35

Young at heart: 36-45

New outlook: 46-55

Wise: 56-65

Very Wise: 66 and above

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* 4. How long have you had fibromyalgia?

I don't have fibromyalgia

Less than a year

A while: 1-5 years

Seems like forever: 6-10 years

Forever: 11-15 years

A lifetime: 16-20

An eternity: more than 21 years

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* 5. How does your fibromyalgia and its treatment affect your sex drive?

I have no drive to do anything, let alone sex. I’d rather sleep and most nights that’s exactly what I try to do.

It’s about the same as before. When I'm in the mood, I want it. When I'm not in the mood, I don't.

I want more sex now than before my FM diagnosis. It helps to relieve pain.

Other (please specify)

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* 6. What is the hardest part about sex? Check all that apply.

Pain after the fact, or post-orgasmic pain.

Pain in the present. It’s hard to get past the pain to enjoy sex.

Fear of pain. Even when my pain is manageable, I don’t want to risk a flare up by having sex.

It’s not about the pain, I just don’t have any desire to do it.

That I can’t have sex.

Exhaustion. It wipes me out.

I can't get enough of it!

Other (please specify)

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* 7. How often do you have sex?

Daily

Weekly

Monthly

Only on my birthday

Sex? That was another lifetime.

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* 8. How has fibromyalgia affected your ability to be intimate with your partner?

It has made it difficult, but we find a way.

It is nearly impossible finding comfortable positions and timing. Most of the time it's not worth the pain and the hassle.

It has brought us closer together. We are more connected emotionally, as well as physically.

It hasn’t effected our ability to be intimate.

Other (please specify)

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* 9. In what ways do you show affection to your partner when you don't feel up to sex? Check all that apply.

Make-out session

I use my spoons for spooning (cuddling, snuggling)

Massage and sensual touch

We love to laugh and talk

I do something special for my partner

I give my partner affirmations, such as "you are beautiful," "you do a great job," "you're the best!"

I take one for the team and give it up for my honey.

Other (please specify)

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* 10. How would you bring up your fibromyalgia condition when dating?

I avoid talking about it until the 30th date. By then we are good friends and there is no expectation of sex.

I try to tell a little at a time. I don’t want to scare my date off.

I lay it all out on the first date. Might as well know how it’s going to be, so I can avoid the heartache of rejection later.

I don’t date. I'm not sure why I'm taking this survey.

Not applicable. I landed my sweetheart before FM.

Other (please specify)

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* 11. How has fibromyalgia affected your self-esteem?

No effect

It has decreased my self-esteem

It has improved my self-esteem

Other (please specify)

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* 12. How does self-esteem play into your ability to be intimate?

My self-esteem has been wiped out completely. I don't see why anyone would want to be with me.

My self-esteem is shattered. I don't bother getting into relationships for fear of rejection.

My self-esteem is about the same. I manage to connect with my partner just fine.

My self-esteem is high. I can't seem to find anyone worth being intimate with.

Other (please specify)

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* 13. When is the best time for you to be intimate?

First thing in the morning. I am so stiff and this really helps to loosen me up.

Mid-day is best. I'm warmed up and limber, and not yet exhausted.

Evening. I feel most alive in the twilight hours, so I'm happy to be intimate then.

Night. I can't sleep, so I might as well relax with some sex. Sometimes I can fall asleep afterwards, so that's a plus.

It varies. We jump at the chance for a roll in the hay whenever I feel up to it.

I don't have sex anymore.

Other (please specify)

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* 14. How has FM affected your sexual performance?

I used to be all over the place, but now a have to be more careful.

I'm more active in the beginning, then my partner takes over. We have found the perfect balance.

When I go for it, I know it will hurt, but I go for it wholeheartedly.

I take better care of myself now that I have FM, so sex is better.

Performance is not the word I would use to describe my sex.

Other (please specify)

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* 15. What sexual outcomes have you experienced due to your fibromyalgia and its treatment? Check all that apply.

My partner feels rejected when I say no.

I don’t think that much about sex.

My partner and I split up, mostly because of our diminished sexual relationship.

It's been a difficult row to hoe, but I wouldn't trade what we’ve learned for a different life.

I feel guilty that I’m no longer the sex pot I used to be.

I feel much better after an orgasm because it's a great pain reliever.

I feel inadequate in my ability to be a good mate.

Our relationship is stronger than ever, in part because of my experience with chronic pain.

We have not had children because of fibromyalgia.

I can’t remember what this questions is about.

Other (please specify)

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* 16. What would you like the community to know about your experience with intimacy and fibromyalgia? Your answer, if displayed, will show your gender and age only. If you want to add your location, please include it as your signature.

Thanks for completing our survey! As a token of our appreciation, we invite you to watch "Sex Bomb," an oldie but goodie by Tom Jones.