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Welcome to Bonobology,

This website is a place to read, share and meet people who want to understand all that flows from, of and in our couple relationships.

Why do couples fight? Oh, for everything possible under the sun! It is not easy to be with someone day in and day out and not have small and big annoyances creep in. For things done/not done, stuff said or left unsaid, for caring too much or too little. Couples fight even about how they fight!  We spoke to Mumbai based counsellor Ms Gopa Khan who has had an experience of more than two decades in couple counselling. She listed some of the most common reasons on why urban Indian couples fight.

Take the survey to see if it rings a bell? You may also start seeing that you are not alone in feeling the way you do! We will analyse the results and post it on Bonobology for you to get better insights on the why, what and how of it all.  

‘Survey Monkey’ does not ask for your name or email ID. It maintains strict confidentiality and anonymity. There is no way that any part of your answers/replies can be connected to you. 

: By Raksha Bharadia and Saumya Tewari 


Raksha Bharadia is a writer and editor. She has authored four books and has put together 13 titles of The Chicken Soup for the Indian Soul series for Westland. Bonobology.com is Raksha’s first significant foray in the digital space.

Saumya Tewari is a PhD student at TISS, Mumbai, specialising in public policy and is an independent social research consultant and writer. To take a break from serious public policy and academic writing, she hopes to write a novel soon.

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* 1. What is your gender?

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* 2. What is your marital status?

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* 3. Do you think most of your fights happen when your partner pulls you down before friends and family?

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* 4. What would you do if your spouse’s relatives gave you (unsolicited) advice about your career or your household and your spouse backs them leading to a squabble between the two of you?

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* 5. What would you do if your spouse said to you “but your job is easy- what do you do really at work” in the presence of common friends?

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* 6. Do you feel your partner sometimes over-indulges in drinking or smoking and that leads to arguments?

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* 7. How do you distribute household work between the two of you?

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* 8. How often do you have a spat with your spouse about their (annoying to you) personal habits like bringing dirty shoes on the carpet or not squeezing the toothpaste tube right?

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* 9. Do you get annoyed if you have to work and your partner cannot keep the TV volume down- as if you were back in your college dormitory?

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* 10. Do you feel your spouse’s erratic work schedule affects the general routine at home?

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* 11. You and your spouse have not had dinner together in a week- he/she has been working late. How to you feel about it?

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* 12. Your spouse is fond of spicy food, but you can’t have it. What do you do?

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* 13. You joined the gym and have been given a strict diet chart- your spouse is against diets and refuses to eat healthy. What do you feel about it?

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* 14. Does your spouse ever say, “my mom does not cook it that way”?

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* 15. Do you have arguments about the income that comes into your household?

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* 16. Do you feel your spouse sometimes indulges too much into wasteful expenditure? How do you communicate about it?

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* 17. You had a long-tiring week and your spouse has plans for the weekend. What do you do?

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* 18. Do you think the husband has full right over his wife’s income?

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* 19. Your in-laws feel you should save for your daughter’s wedding and not send her for professional education. What do you and your partner do?

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* 20. Your partner always imposes discipline on the children and you are lenient. How do you tackle it as a couple?

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