The online questionnaire portion of:

HOW TO TELL THE KIDS - a Research Study conducted by Vikki Stark, M.S.W.


Hi! I'm a family therapist and researcher who is studying the life-changing moment when parents inform their kids that they are getting divorced. The purpose of this study is to be able to educate parents in the future about the least damaging and gentlest way to break the news in order to protect children. Your help in this is greatly appreciated!

This questionnaire should be completed by adults (18 and over) who were children or teens when their parents divorced, or current children (ages 4-12) or teens (age 13-17) who have divorced parents. Children who complete the survey should do so with the help of a parent. Teens who are completing the survey should get a parent's consent to do so. If you would prefer to complete the survey in Microsoft Word, please request a copy by e-mail at

By completing this questionnaire, you indicate your agreement for your answers to be used anonymously in any resulting article or other publication, both on-line or in print. If you'd like more information on the study, please read my recent blog on the Psychology Today website entitled, "The Moment You Learned of Your Parents' Divorce" -

Many thanks!

Vikki Stark M.S.W.
Family Therapist and Researcher

* 1. Where do you live?

* 2. Where did you hear about our Study?

* 6. Please tell the story in detail of how you learned about your parents’ separation, including everything that happened, exactly what your parents’ did and said and how you felt about it.

* 7. To what extent were you expecting that the marriage might end?

* 8. What did you need to know once you’d heard?

* 9. What was your biggest wish, fear or worry?

* 10. Did your parent(s) do or say anything that made you feel better or worse?

* 11. How did you understand what was happening and what the reason was for their separation? What was it?

* 12. What advice do you have for parents who are going to tell their kids that they are separating?

* 13. Is there anything else you’d like to add?