* 1. The "You're Letting the Intern Write Copy, Aren't You?" Award

* 2. The Count von Count Award

* 3. The Doublespeak Award (AKA the "It's a Feature" Award)

* 4. The "Just Zip It" Award

* 5. The Daytime Drama Dialogue Award

* 6. The "Say Whhaaat?" Award

* 7. Worst Graphic or Chart Award

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