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* 1. Is your partner flexible, and able to handle feedback and constructive criticism; doesn't have to be right all the time; and doesn't need to control the relationship?

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* 2. Does your partner need to be connected to you in some way (in person, text, phone, messaging) to feel okay?  Does your partner threaten to self-harm (maybe even suicide) when you leave for work, travel, or spend time with other people?

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* 3. Does your partner cut you off from family/friends, and/or force you to choose between them and others in your life?

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* 4. Does your partner refuse to apologize or take responsibility for their actions, or have a pattern of raging and then apologizing?

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* 5. Does your partner respect your privacy (doesn’t read your email, texts, social media, etc.)?

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* 6. Was your partner super charming in the beginning or in front of other people, but different behind closed doors?

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* 7. Does your partner always have to be the center of attention, and gets upset when they aren’t (maybe even punishing you later)?

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* 8. Does your partner ever hit you, scream/curse at you, squeeze you until marks are left, put you down in front of other people, call you names?

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* 9. Does your partner confuse you about events, your feelings, anything else (things just don’t add up) or make you question your own sanity?

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* 10. With this person, have you ever felt like you are walking on eggshells; exhausted from the chaos of your relationship, and dread the thought of seeing your partner? (but hopeful they'll change someday)?

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