1.Are you generally happy with your publishing job, or simply happy to have a job?

The former

The latter

A combination of both

2.How would you rate your overall job satisfaction?

Extremely satisfied

Very satisfied

Satisfied

Not very satisfied

Unsatisfied

Extremely unsatisfied

I am dying FFS

3.Do you feel respected and valued in your role?

I feel highly respected and valued

I feel somewhat respected and valued

This is not a culture of affirmation

I work like a dog and no one cares

4.How would you describe your workplace culture?

Inspiring

Intermittently inspiring

Dull

Joyless

Sexless

Dull, joyless, and sexless

5.How would you describe your mood on most workdays?

Excellent

Good

Indifferent

Foul

Hungry

Carnal

6.How often do you experience work-related stress?

Never

Sometimes

Daily

Are you kidding me?

7.How do you feel after a typical day?

Excellent

Good

OK

Fatigued

DEAD

8.How do you cope with stress at work?

By drinking

By smoking dope

By taking pills

By drinking, smoking dope, and taking pills

By masturbating aggressively in the bathroom

9.Do you find it difficult to concentrate at work?

Yes

No

Only when I'm watching Pornhub

10.What is the preponderant emphasis at your company?

EBITA

EBITA

EBITA

Your personal happiness

11.Do you feel secure in your job?

Yes

No

12.Does your supervisor understand just how awful your job is?

Yes

No

13.Do you trust your company?

Yes

No

14.Is your company transparent about their decision-making?

Yes

No

Sometimes

I wish they were more transparent

15.Do they encourage you to speak up?

Yes

No

16.Do you feel heard when you speak up?

Yes

No

17.How many diversity initiatives have you seen announced at your company that resulted in meaningful change?

Many, my company works hard at inclusivity and DEI

Several, my company tries but doesn't always succeed

Hardly any, my company is all talk and no walk

None. My company doesn't give a shit.

18.Is publishing too woke?

YES

19.Do you feel like we've raised a generation of entitled fucking whiners when it comes to work?

THANK YOU FOR ASKING THAT QUESION

20.How would you assess your company's embrace of work-life balance?

Strongly embrace a good work-life balance

Accepting of the need for work-life balance, but not especially encouraging about it

Not a priority for my company

21.When was the last time someone from management said something nice to you?

Last week

Last month

Last year

Last decade

THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO I AM (enter example of they below, please)

22.What's the dumbest corporate directive you've received that made you question why you got into publishing?

23.How confident are you in your leadership team?

Extremely

Very

Kind of

All they talk about is AI

They worry me

The ship is sinking

24.Have you ever wanted to say to a colleague, "My god, you are full of shit."

Yes

No

25.On a scale of one to ten stars (ten being exceptional), how strongly do you feel about the work you are doing?

1 star

2 stars

3 stars

4 stars

5 stars

6 stars

7 stars

8 stars

9 stars

10 stars

26.If you could change one thing about your job, what would it be?

I would never have to work with authors again

I would never have to come to the office again

I would never have to listen to my boss again

All of the above

27.Complete this sentence: the biggest problem with trade publishing is ________

28.Does your company hold too many meetings?

Yes

No

I'm answering these survey questions in a fucking meeting

29.Does your company still talk about "synergy," or has synergy lost ground to AI?

Synergy still

Synergy, not so much anymore

It's AI all the time, baby!

30.Have you ever contemplated faking a heart attack in marketing meeting?

Yes

No

Every week!