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* 1. Where in the world are you?

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* 2. How many years young are you?

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* 3. Which are you?

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* 4. How many children do you have?

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* 5. On a weekly basis how often do you call your child or children by the wrong name?

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* 6. Have you ever called your kid by your dog, cat, or other pet’s name?

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* 7. How many dad jokes do you use on a daily basis?

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* 8. Of those jokes how many illicit a grunt or groan from your partner and/or children?

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* 9. Which of these cliche dad-isms are you guilty of saying? (Select all that apply)

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* 10. What is your ideal thermostat temperature in the winter?

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* 11. How often does your partner and/or kids meddle with the thermostat?

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* 12. How do you handle thermostat security to prevent family members from meddling?

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* 13. How do you feel about lawn care?

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* 14. What type of mower do you use?

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* 15. Do you have the best lawn in the neighborhood?

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* 16. Do you have lawn care-specific footwear?

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* 17. If you have specific lawn care shoes, how old are they?

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* 18. Are you currently working on a home improvement project?

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* 19. Do you have a specific “dad-only” couch or chair that you always sit in?

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* 20. How many sleep-related injuries do you experience per year? (eg, a kink in your neck from sleeping in a weird position)

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* 21. Do you have a designated dad area at home or activity to escape the kids for some “me time”? (Check all that apply)

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* 22. How many additional minutes do you spend in the bathroom, on your phone once your toilet duties are complete? (Haha, “doodies.”)

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* 23. The toilet paper roll should be dispensed:

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* 24. My partner thinks the toilet paper roll should be dispensed:

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* 25. Rate the temperature of your partner’s showers:

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* 26. How many bottles of products does your partner keep in the shower?

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* 27. How many pets do you have in your household?

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* 28. How often does your child ask for a new pet?

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* 29. Please rate the volume of your sneezes:

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* 30. Do you frame your kids for your farts?

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* 31. Do you frame your pets for your farts?

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* 32. We're giving away cool stuff to random people who complete this. Tell us how to contact you in case you win:

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* 33. Feel free to email me in the future with other cool stuff!

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* 34. What do you consider to be the ultimate "dad shoe"?

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* 35. How many pairs of cargo shorts do you own?

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* 36. How often when wearing athletic shorts or pants do you actually engage in something athletic?

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* 37. How many years old is your oldest t-shirt?

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* 38. What music do you listen to the most?

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* 39. How often on a daily basis do you hum the theme song (or have it playing on repeat in your head) to one of your child's TV shows?

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* 40. How often each week do you play video games without your kid(s)?

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* 41. How often each week do you play video games with your kid(s)?

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* 42. Have you ever told your kid their controller was connected when really it wasn’t?

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* 43. What is your favorite sport to watch?

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* 44. What is your favorite championship/tournament to watch?

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* 45. Do you participate in Fantasy Sports leagues?

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* 46. Do you bet on professional sports?

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* 47. What is your all-time favorite TV show?

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* 48. How often do you use your cell phone to escape from your kids?

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* 49. How many apps on your phone do you have installed that are for your kids?

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* 50. Have you ever "lost," donated, or pretended you didn't have replacement batteries for an annoying toy?

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* 51. How many trips does it take you to get the grocery bags from the car into your home?

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* 52. When cooking indoors I prefer to use:

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* 53. When grilling outdoors I prefer to use:

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* 54. How many tong test clicks on average do you do per grilling session?

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* 55. How do you like your steak prepared?

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* 56. Do you have a famous/signature dish?

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* 57. How do you like your sandwich cut?

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* 58. How well do you know your way around the kitchen?

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* 59. Do you and your partner debate restaurant choices?

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* 60. What is your adult beverage of choice?

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* 61. If you drink beer, do you prefer:

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* 62. How often do you say to your misbehaving kids "I'll turn this car around!"

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* 63. Have you ever actually turned your car around?

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* 64. When arriving at a destination how long do you spend outside the car waiting for your kids to come out?

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* 65. What car maintenance do you do yourself? (Check all that apply)

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* 66. How many hours early do you like to arrive at the airport before a flight?

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* 67. How often do you use your kids as an excuse to get out of a social activity?

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* 68. Do your kids think money grows on trees or that you are made of money?

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* 69. How often do you garnish your kid’s fast food orders (dad tax) by taking fries/chicken nuggets from their fast food orders before serving it to them?

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* 70. How much do you love being a dad?

A little bit All my heart
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