Couples' Faithfulness Survey
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1. Couples' Faithfulness Survey-Dr. Joan D. Atwood

 
In this society much attention has been paid to infidelity. Newspapers report on the infidelities of celebrities , politicians, etc. every other day. There are countless researchers exploring the question of why people are unfaithful. There are typologies of infidelity ranging from the one-night-stand to the long-term affair to cyber sex encounters.

This survey is different in that it examines the opposite situation. We are interested in why people are faithful. Given the many opportunities in society to stray, why do people remain faithful to their partner? This information is crucial to us in many different ways. It might change how we raise our children; it could change pre-marital programs; it could influence our mate selection practices, and it could change how we do therapy when infidelity issues arise.

As we know, in many cases, infidelity wreaks havoc on families. Rarely do the affected family members sail easily though an event of infidelity. It can, and often does, devastate each and every family member. The pain and sadness from broken intimacy bonds can create negative memories for most family members that can last a lifetime. Your participation in this survey will shed much light on this process and, in so doing, help many people in this situation.

If you are willing to share your experiences with us, please consider filling out the survey below. The survey is entirely anonymous and no effort can or will be made to identify participants.

Thank you for your assistance in providing an overview of this very important area of family life.

It is very important that you answer all of the questions below by circling, checking or filling in your best answer.

1. Your Gender:

2. Your Partner’s Gender:

3. Your Sexual Orientation:

4. Present Relationship status:

5. If you checked other in question #4, please describe.

6. Number of years in your current relationship?

7. Number of previous long-term (2+yrs) relationships:

8. How old are you?

9. How old is your partner?

10. What religion are you? Please specify.

11. How religious would you say you are?

12. If you checked other in question #11, please describe

13. What degrees do you hold?

14. If you checked other in question #13, please describe

15. What degree(s) does your partner hold?

16. What is your occupation?

17. What is your current income?

18. How many times have you been married?

19. How many times were you divorced?

20. If divorced, what were the reason (s)?

21. How many children do you have?

22. What is your race?

23. If you checked other to question # 22, please describe

24. What is your ethnicity? (nationality)?

25. Are your parents still together?

26. If your parents are still together, how long are they together?

27. If your parents are not together, what happened?

28. If your parents are divorced, why did they divorce?

29. If your parents divorced, how old were you when they divorced?

30. If your parents divorced, what thoughts about marriage/relationships (if any) did you have as a result?

31. If your parents divorced, thinking back, what feelings did you experience as they/you were in the process of the divorce?

32. If your parents divorced, how do you think their divorce influenced you (if at all) as an adult?

33. If your parents did not divorce, and are not together, what is their situation?

34. If your parents are still together, how would you rate your parent’s marriage?

35. Why would you give your parent's marriage this rating?

36. If your parents are still together, what thoughts about marriage/relationships (if any) did you have as a result?

37. Did either of your parents have an affair or stray that you know of?

38. If yes, which one?

39. If one or both of your parents strayed, what were your feelings about it when you found out?

40. Were you ashamed or embarrassed by his her behavior? Did you understand or empathize with the parent who strayed? Please elaborate.

41. How flexible (goes with the flow) a person would you say you are? Why?

42. How open-minded a person would you say you are? Why?

43. How moral a person would you say you are? Why?

44. On a scale of 1 thru 10, with 1 thinking about yourself first and 10 always putting others in front of yourself, where would you place yourself? Why?

45. Do you think marriages or long term partnerships should be exclusively monogamous? Why? Or Why not?

46. Do you believe everyone strays from their partner at one point or another? Why? Or Why not?

47. Do you believe certain types of people are more likely to stray than others? Why or Why not?

48. Do you think a person would stray because there was something wrong “at home”? Please explain.

49. Do you think it is his or her own individual personality traits that would influence whether a person would stray or not? Please explain.

50. In your opinion, which of the following would constitute “straying” to you? Circle as many as you like and add others in text box #50 if you feel they apply.

51. If you would like to add other categories of straying or would like to elaborate on anything in question #50, please do so here.

52. Do you think it’s ok to chat with members of the opposite sex (or same sex) on the internet in a sexually flirtatious way, as long as you don’t meet them in real life? Why or Why not?

53. if you were in a monogamous relationship but not engaged or married, would you consider it straying if you had sex with someone other than your partner? Please explain.

54. If you were in a situation with a very attractive person who was “coming on” to you and you knew there was no way you would get caught, would you have a one-night stand? Why or why not?

55. Please use your own words and define in your mind how you would define “straying”? Please be explicit.

56. What traits would a person have if s/he were to stray from his/her partner? Please explain.

57. What traits would a person have if s/he were NOT to stray from his/her partner? Please explain.

58. Why do you think men stray more than women? Please elaborate.

59. In general, how would you rate your present relationship in terms of partner satisfaction?

60. Why did you give your relationship the rating you did?

61. How would you rate the sexual part of your relationship?

62. Why did you give your sexual relationship the rating you did?

63. How would you describe your sense of loyalty that you have for your current partner?

64. Why did you give your sense of loyalty this rating?

65. How would you describe your sense of commitment to your current partner?

66. Why did you give your sense of commitment this rating?

67. How do you rate your inner will power, given you find yourself in a very sexually tempting situation? Please elaborate.

68. Have you been faithful to your partner?

69. Please elaborate.

70. Have you ever strayed from your partner?

71. Please elaborate.

72. How many long term relationships (over a year) have you been in prior to the current one?

73. What are some of the reasons they ended? Please be specific.

74. Have you ever strayed in any of those relationships?

75. Please elaborate.

76. If you did not stray, what kept you from straying? Elaborate.

77. What thoughts did you have at that time—thoughts that kept you from straying?

78. If you have strayed in a relationship (any relationship), what can you remember about your thoughts when you first thought that straying was an option.

79. If you did stray, what thoughts did you have at the time? Please elaborate.

80. If you have not strayed, what traits do you think you have that kept you from straying in a relationship?

81. Have you ever been in a sexually tempting situation where you thought about straying from your current partner? Elaborate.

82. If you have thought about it at one time or another, what was the internal monologue you had with yourself to convince yourself why you should or should not stray from your current partner?

83. Please tell us any other information that you feel would be pertinent to why people would remain faithful in their relationship.

84. Thank you for your participation in this very important research. Please write any comments below.

85. If you would like to see a copy of the results, please write your name and address in this box. Please note that there is no way that your name and address could be matched with your answers. Your answers are 100% confidential regardless of whether you leave your name and address or not. Thank you for your participation.
Dr. Joan D. Atwood