Oronte Churm's Somewhat Spurious Post-AWP SurveyOronte Churm's Somewhat Spurious Post-AWP Survey

1. Did you present at a panel or read at an event?

Did you present at a panel or read at an event? Yes

2. If you didn't present, how do you feel about that?

If you didn't present, how do you feel about that? I didn't propose a panel, am glad.

I didn't propose one but wish I did.

Rejected. Meh.

Miffed at rejection.

Peeved.

Ire.

Other (please specify)

3. How much money did you spend during the conference?

How much money did you spend during the conference? Oliver Twist

Harry "Rabbit" Angstrom

Jay Gatsby

Other (please specify)

4. Of the sacksful of loot you gathered at the bookfair, what remains after flight-winnowing, return-home remorse, and week-later clutter rage?

Of the sacksful of loot you gathered at the bookfair, what remains after flight-winnowing, return-home remorse, and week-later clutter rage? All 40 bags full.

Lit mags for days.

Conference program (for reimbursement purposes), nametag, and a couple of journals.

Business cards for journals and editors you hope to speak to again, cards for authors you don't.

A pen.

Nada; pues nada.

5. What was your favorite star moment? (Drinks with Seamus Heaney, front row for Derek Walcott's reading, seeing that one Jonathan being pulled in to the building by another Jonathan and the weird looks on their faces, etc.)

What was your favorite star moment? (Drinks with Seamus Heaney, front row for Derek Walcott's reading, seeing that one Jonathan being pulled in to the building by another Jonathan and the weird looks on their faces, etc.)

6. Did you sleep with someone not your spouse, partner, or significant other?

Did you sleep with someone not your spouse, partner, or significant other? Sins of the flesh are an abomination.

Regrettably, yes.

Of course, what are conferences for?

Jonathan is fanTAStic.

[Charlie Brown voice]: Rats. I almost wish there weren't a conference season. I know nobody likes me.

Other (please specify)

7. Be honest: In which one activity did you invest the most time?

Be honest: In which one activity did you invest the most time? Sick in hotel room.

Sybaritic time in hotel room, luxuriating.

Panels.

Bookfair.

Walking between events.

Socializing (include sex).

Sam Adams Brewery, Old Ironsides, Fenway, etc.

Catching up on everyday work.

Trying to clean red wine stains from hotel bedclothes, rug, towels, seat cushions, and draperies in order not to be charged for cleaning after Jonathan went on a rampage over Michiko's review.

Other (please specify)

8. How much did you drink over 5 days (or your time at conference)?

How much did you drink over 5 days (or your time at conference)? Prohibition.

Tulip glass.

Flask.

Jeroboam.

Tun.

Other (please specify)

9. How much did you eat, what with eating out, larger portions, richer food, etc.

How much did you eat, what with eating out, larger portions, richer food, etc. Responsibly.

Two weeks worth in a few days.

Gluttonous.

Vomitous.

Goutish.

Other (please specify)

10. What is it you'd like everyone to know about the AWP conference?

What is it you'd like everyone to know about the AWP conference?