Me and my mother-in-law

Mother-in-law, Mother-out-law, mother-of-the-father-of-your-children. Granny, Grandma, Nanny, Nan. Whatever you call her, we'd like to know a bit more about your relationship. Is she your second mum? Or your achilles heel. How do we cope with the "other woman" in our partners life?
As a festive incentive we've £150 of vouchers for Sainsbury's wines, beers or spirits (or any of your favourite tipples) for one mum who completes this survey pulled from the electronic hat.

1. How often do you see/hear from your Mother-in-law?

How often do you see/hear from your Mother-in-law? Every day

A couple of times a week

About once a week

About once a month

A few times a year

Once a year or less

2. Would you like to see more of her?

Would you like to see more of her? I think we've got it about right

Yes I wish we could see more of her

I'd like to see a bit less of her

I'd like to see a lot less of her

3. Will you be spending Christmas day with your Mother-in-law this year?

Will you be spending Christmas day with your Mother-in-law this year? Yes

Not decided yet

4. If you answered Yes, why is that? (tick as many as apply)

If you answered Yes, why is that? (tick as many as apply) We get on well and like to spend time together at Christmas

To keep my partner happy

My children want to see her

It means I dont have to cook!

We take it in turns and it's his family this year

Other (please specify)

5. If you answered No why is that? (Tick as many as apply)

If you answered No why is that? (Tick as many as apply) Only because we have other plans

I prefer to see my own family

I refuse to see her at Christmas

I don’t speak her at all

I don't like her cooking

She lives too far away

We take it in turns and it's my family this year

Other

Other (please specify)

6. Is your Mother-in-law a help and support to you? (tick as many as apply)

Is your Mother-in-law a help and support to you? (tick as many as apply) She is a great help with my child/children

She helps with practical stuff like ironing, cooking, gardening

She is an emotional support to me

She'd do more if she could but can't due to illness or distance or other reasons

It would be more helpful if she'd do less to "help" to be honest!

She is no help to me

7. How does your Mother-in-law feel about you, do you think (tick as many as apply)

How does your Mother-in-law feel about you, do you think (tick as many as apply) I think she believes I am a good mum

I think she's very fond of me

I think she sees me as a good friend

I think she feels I am a good partner to her son

I think she feels I don't look after her son well enough

I think she feels her son could have done better

I think she's sees me as something she has to put up with in order to see her grandchild/children

I think she dislikes me

8. Who do you think has the better relationship?

Who do you think has the better relationship? You and your Mother-in-Law

Your partner and your mum

Not applicable

9. If you and your Mother-in-law have a disagreement, how does your partner react?

If you and your Mother-in-law have a disagreement, how does your partner react? He'll almost always take my side

He sticks his head in the sand and doesn't want get involved

He'll almost always take her side

He usually helps sort things out quite sensibly

10. Do you think your MIL comes between you and your partner (even unwittingly)

Do you think your MIL comes between you and your partner (even unwittingly) Not at all

Sometimes I feel unsupported by him

It is a regular source of conflict between us

11. Which of these, if any, can annoy you about your Mother-in-law

Which of these, if any, can annoy you about your Mother-in-law She ignores my rules/preferences for bringing up the children (eg picks up the baby when I'd rather not; gives them sweets when I ask her not to)

She doesnt agree with my working status (eg she thinks I work too much or too little)

She criticises the way I bring up my children

She interferes in my relationship with my partner

She questions how I feed my children

She "takes over"

She is overly protective of my partner

She spoils my children

She always takes my partner’s side

She criticises my appearance

She criticises our home

She’s critical of my partner

She contradicts everything I say

It's not what she says it's the way she says it

Other (please specify)

12. If your Mother-in-law makes comments or suggestions about how you could or should be doing things, how does that make you feel? (Tick as many as apply)

If your Mother-in-law makes comments or suggestions about how you could or should be doing things, how does that make you feel? (Tick as many as apply) My MIL is always careful not to interfere

I know she's just trying to help

I’ve learnt to smile-and-ignore

Her comments and suggestions often upset or annoy me

It undermines my confidence and makes me feel I am not being a good mother

13. How long have you been with your partner?

How long have you been with your partner? 0 - 2 years

3 - 5 years

6 - 10 years

more than 10 years

We are no longer together

14. Where do you live?

Where do you live? a) North East

b) North West

c) Yorkshire & The Humber

d) East Midlands

e) West Midlands

f) East of England

g) London

h) South Central

i) South East

j) South West

k) Wales

l) Scotland

m) Northern Ireland

15. How old are your children? (tick as many as apply)

How old are your children? (tick as many as apply) I'm pregnant

0 - 1

1 - 2

3 - 4

5 - 7

8 - 11

11+

16. Please tell us your email address so that we can enter you in the competition. It will not be used for anything else. This survey is completely anonymous

Please tell us your email address so that we can enter you in the competition. It will not be used for anything else. This survey is completely anonymous

17. Would you mind talking about your relationship with your Mother-in-law to the media if it arises?

Would you mind talking about your relationship with your Mother-in-law to the media if it arises? Yes sure, drop me a line

No thanks

Maybe, let me know more...

18. Please tell us more about your relationship with your Mother in law? We'd love to hear your story?

Please tell us more about your relationship with your Mother in law? We'd love to hear your story?