2015 YourTango Deal-Breaker Survey Question Title * 1. Do you have a definitive list of “deal-breakers” (or did you have one before finding your current partner)? Yes No (except for obvious ones like no axe-murderers and psychopaths) Question Title * 2. Which of these constitute deal-breakers for you, generally speaking? You may include reasons why you have rejected someone previously and/or reasons you would now reject an otherwise potentially attractive long-term partner/spouse. Insufficient physical attractiveness (e.g. has to be the right height and weight, have good hair, etc.) Insufficient success (financial/career achievements or ambitions) Insufficient personality traits (not funny or charismatic enough, etc.) Dissimilar faith/culture/religion/race Political differences Different Interests around having/adopting children Geographical differences Not simpatico with each others’ friends/family Insufficient sexual desires/satisfaction Question Title * 3. Now: what are or have been your specific deal-breakers? You may include reasons you have rejected someone previously and/or reasons you would now reject an otherwise potentially attractive long-term partner/spouse. Too short Too tall Too fat Too thin Too pale Too dark Not enough hair Breasts are too big/too small Insufficient physical attractiveness (e.g. has to be the right height and weight, have good hair, etc.) Not good-looking enough Bad teeth Poor hygiene Dresses poorly Overly concerned with his/her looks Not athletic/physically active enough Too athletic/physically active Works too much Is too carefree/not stable enough Lazy/not ambitious enough Arrogant/Takes him/herself too seriously Bad taste/lacks sophistication Has too many tattoos Not educated enough Doesn’t make enough money Sports junkie Shopaholic/spends too much money Cheapskate Drinks too much Doesn’t drink at all Is sloppy Too conservative Too liberal Doesn’t like talking politics Always talks politics Too sensitive Hyper critical/judgmental/negative Prone to extreme feelings (anger, depression, etc.) Doesn’t have a great sense of humor Inappropriate sense of humor Geographical differences Brash Stubborn Too much of a “player” Too religious Not religious enough Too much of a homebody Never wants to spend time at home Not worldly/sufficiently informed Always texting on his/her phone Control freak Frequently rude (to servers, customer service people, to you, etc.) Dietary differences (e.g. you are vegetarian, he/she loves meat.) Comes from a broken/dysfunctional family Conflict/disconnect among each other’s friends/family Discontent around sex Communication issues Differing values One of you wants kids and the other doesn’t Other (please specify) Question Title * 4. How has having a list of deal-breakers impacted you? Helpful – It helped me find someone with whom I am compatible! More harmful than helpful – Having a prescribed list of deal-breakers caused me to miss out on someone special. Optimistic, but no results yet – I am confident that adhering to my deal-breakers will eventually lead me to a successful long-term relationship, but so far I have not found him/her. N/A – Deal-breakers haven’t really impacted me, or I don’t have a list. Question Title * 5. Have you ever “overruled” your own deal-breakers? i.e. You had identified one or more deal-breakers, but you were willing to overlook them and give someone a chance? Yes, and it was a mistake Yes, and thank goodness—it led to a fantastic relationship! No, I have always stuck to my list N/A Question Title * 6. What is your gender: Male Female Transgender Question Title * 7. What is your age? 18-25 26-34 35-44 45-54 55-64 65+ Question Title * 8. Where do you live? AL AK AZ AR CA CO CT DE FL GA HI ID IL IN IA KS KY LA ME MD MA MI MN MS MO MT NE NV NH NJ NM NY NC ND OH OK OR PA RI SC SD TN TX UT VT VA WA WV WI WY AS DC FM GU MH MP PW PR VI Other (please specify) Question Title * 9. Can you share a story or anecdote about one or several deal-breakers in your life? There's a 500 character maximum, please send stories above the character limit to RadicalAcceptance@yourtango.com. Question Title * 10. Are you interested in any of the following? If so, please share your email address and answer yes or no to each of the following questions. Your email address will not be sold! Being considered for one of ten signed copies of Andrea Miller’s currently titled book Radical Acceptance: Loving The One You’re With, to be published in early 2017 by Simon & Schuster. If you would like to be added to the mailing list and contacted for more information about Radical Acceptance. If you have stories about deal-breakers or Radical Acceptance that you would be willing to share with the news media in conjunction with publicity for the book. None of the above Email? Done
